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    2/22/2009

    哦, 时光

     
     
    起床后很幸福,因为做了一个幸福的梦。真的很幸福,梦中就很幸福。
     
    终于完整地做了一个梦,梦里跟一个男性在一起。很喜欢的男性,醒来还是觉得很喜欢。梦是那么完整,只可惜终究还是只是个梦。也许现在无比渴望有人陪。即使没有在想,潜意识还是这么希望。是啊,单身一年多了。有谁关心过我,有谁爱护过我。原来太幸福,所以无法忍受现在的落寞。想了无数次,还是不确定自己应该怎么做。我要坚持什么,我要改变什么。有谁会为我指路,有谁会为我着想。
    越想越觉得可怜了。
     
    可我还是想坚持自己。不到最后一刻,我不想妥协。数着日子过自己23岁剩下的最后一段时光,24岁的我又会是一种什么心态。不愿意承认自己的老。可不承认不代表我没老。一切都是这样令人烦恼。
     
    梦中的男性我很喜欢,也很喜欢我。只可惜我已忘了他的模样。只记得我很有安全感,很幸福。久违的喜欢,对另外一种人的喜欢。只可惜我终究遇不到那样的人。遇不到我喜欢又喜欢我的人。我已错过了人生最美丽的年岁,我已失去本该属于我的幸福。难道只有在梦里才能拥有自己想拥有的一切。也许是我太贪心了。
     
    三个同学已经去跟博士见了面。我不想这样,也不会去做相亲的事。这个年纪不应该只有婚姻。任何有预谋的东西我都不愿意参与。我还应该有更多更重要的事做吧。脑海突然闪现了高中时光,学校后门的种种。时间就是这样快。也许这三年很快就过去,也许这三年还是一无所得。即使那样,又怎么样。日子不管怎么样都是能继续过下去。好与坏也只能由自己评价。我始终不能委屈自己。再爱你又怎么样,再怀念过去的种种又怎么样。
     
    我更爱自己!
     
     
     

    Comments (2)

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    ..........按照时间推算,貌似不是今年写的吧?呵呵.不过写的还是很好.
    Mar. 1
    liar Hwrote:
    这个年纪不应该只有婚姻。任何有预谋的东西我都不愿意参与。
    你写的真好。
    Feb. 22

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